How am I 26? And why is Tom Cruise so insane??!!!

As I sit and ponder the last 25 years of my life, strange and bizarre thoughts keep cropping up.

Some of them are totally dumb & random, such as: "Why do I allow my toenails to grow as if they were fingernails?" (something I have done since high school, much to the dismay of a certain Angela Henderson who was in my 10th grade gym class. hah.) Others are a bit depressing, such as: "I sure hope 26 turns out to be better than 25."

And then there are distracting thoughts such as these: "WHY THE HELL IS TOM CRUISE SO FUCKING NUTS??!!!!"




"Tom gave Katie an iPod loaded with 300 of her favorite songs. He wants her to listen to calming music -- but to use earphones so there's no noise in the delivery room."

If you're not up on your "Dianetics," this is what L. Ron Hubbard says about keeping mum while squeezing out a human being: "Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go."

Wow. Someone *please* save her--and us all--from him.